Where do I begin...do I start about our journey of TTC; maybe my military career? What about the amazing journey that allowed me to work with a great group of high school kids. Either way, there is so much to talk about, but never enough time.
I am starting this blog because I want someone to be inspired. Many times I have been inspired, entertained, or informed by other people's stories. I feel that someone expressing a little positivity in a world full of chaos, negativity, and spite, is welcomed.
My name is Monique Ray. My friends call me Nikki. At work I am Lt Ray. My husband calls me Brownie. My cheerleaders look to me as a coach. My entertaining dogs look to me as their source of food and shelter. To the King and Queen (my parents), I am their princess. To my family I am Nikki Poo, Red, and many more. In a few short weeks, I will hang up my Lt Bars for full time status of mom. Mom..that is a new one that I will have to learn how to master.
The easiest way to understand me is to know where I came from. I am 26 years old, and I was born in Virginia. I moved around some as a kid because my father was in the Marines. If you ask me where I call home, it would be North Carolina. That is where I have spent most of my time. My mom has always been a hard worker, but always found time to be with me growing up. She is my best friend, my accountability partner, a spiritual counselor, and as I continue to grow and learn about myself as a woman, I have learned that we are twins, looks and mannerisms!! I am her only child, and would not have it any other way. My dad is a loving man, always provided for us. We always had the necessities that we needed. He has 4 girls total, and always called me the son he never had. I have learned a lot of my "street sense" from him.
High school was a blast, and college was a time to remember. I graduated from college in 2009, and in the fall of that year, met a man that would change how I loved completely. My husband was a soft teddy bear on the inside, and a grizzly bear on the outside. He helped me grow tough skin, and forced me to throw any ideal of love that I had out the window, and we began creating our own story. Not based on society or any other traditional techniques, but based in God and motivated by pure love. We were both in the military when we met, which made us fall in the category of a "long distance relationship" From Sept 09 to Jan 12 we endured the long distance. In that time, we got engaged in May of 2010, married in Feb of 11, had a beautiful wedding in June of 11, then finally together in Jan of 12.
A day before we moved in together, my military career changed completely. 2012 was a rough year for us. Learning how to live together for the first time, after being married for almost a year was one thing we had to conquer. Dealing with some not so great decisions that would ultimately lead to the end of my career was another. As well as deciding when we wanted to start a family. Over the course of our relationship we have had 4 dogs. Prince was our first Morkie, Heiress which is our littlest girl who is spoiled rotten, then came Lady, another Morkie full of energy, then our big girl Athena, the husky/lab/retriever mix. Lady is now at another loving home, and Prince lives with Brandon's mom. But after all those dogs, we realized, we wanted human kids. Our journey began in May of 2012. Seems like we may be moving fast, but we have never looked at a timeline. We felt we were ready, financially, educationally, and in our relationship. I thank God that he had other plans. I did not understand during the process, but I can see it now.
After 10 months of trying, different doctors, different techniques, we tried another doctor. After that first appointment with the new doc, in March of 2013, we found out that I have PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome). Basically, my ovaries were not producing eggs. On the ultrasound it looked like a bunch of small circles in my ovaries. My ovaries would produce eggs, but I would never ovulate. That explains all my irregular periods! It's kind of hard to make a baby when there is no egg. So began the talk of our options. Take medicine. Because PCOS is usually caused by out of whack hormones and being overweight, I could try losing some weight to try and naturally get my hormones in check. Then there were the bigger procedures, like in vitro, and all those expensive fertility treatments. I can post another blog strictly on our fertility journey, but God finally blessed us to get pregnant in Aug of 2013.
If that process wasn't enough, Brandon deployed in Oct of 2013 (following the timeline yet). So there I am just about 10 weeks pregnant, and my husband leaves for 6 months. He was expected to come back in the third week of April 2014. I found out that I was expected to separate from the military on the 30th of April 2014, and our baby is due May 2, 2014 (only God's timing).
So, that is what I have been through the last few months. Taking care of everything around the house, preparing to be unemployed, going from 2 incomes to 1, and bringing a healthy baby boy into this world, whew, I am tired thinking about it. Many people say, I don't know how you do it, you are so strong. This is where I stop and say thank you Lord, because he is the only way that I make it through each day.
Now that we are caught up, here is where we are present day. I am 34 weeks pregnant. I have just under 5 weeks left because at around 29 weeks, I found out I have gestational diabetes (GD). With GD, babies tend to be a bigger weight, so they will more than likely induce at 39 weeks. My husband is due home in a few weeks, and I am getting all the paperwork necessary to finish my time in the military.
What I have learned throughout this entire process is that you cannot do it alone. I am thankful to my family and friends who have called, checked up on me, and provided resources to make this time a little bit easier. I miss my hunny like crazy, but this time away has really strengthened our relationship. God knows the ultimate plan that he has for us, and he knew what he was doing when all of this was happening. It has made me stronger, and more prepared for this little man to come.
There are many blogs that I want to write. What it is like being a military spouse, while being in the military. My transition out of the military. Being pregnant, and becoming a mom. Please let me know what you want to hear. I am pretty much an open book. Some things are kept close to the heart. But I will be upfront in letting you know that. I do not know who will be touched by this, or if anyone will follow, but I pray that I am able to reach just one person.
Have joy
With love
Nikki
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